When law students go crazy...

The law school faculty is usually one step ahead of us. I arrived on campus this morning and was greeted by the suspicious glower of a security guard pacing in front of the entrance, trying his hardest to project an aura of authority. "Hmm," I thought to myself as I entered the building, "Somewhere a Wal-Mart is missing its parking lot enforcer." But I was in a hurry to get caught up on reading that had managed to get neglected during the insanity of the past week, so I didn't think much else of it. When I stumbled over another security guard on my way to the library, my curiosity was piqued. Law school is a lot of things, and could probably benefit from having such on site upgrades like a resident psychiatrist, Starbucks, or padded study rooms. Law school is not, however, a hot bed of crime (because inherent awfulness isn't a punishable crime), so we generally don't require the presence of not one, but two flashlight toting rent-a-cops. As a generic sense of unease descended, I was greeted with the reassuring words of a law school administrator in my email inbox...

"As you have probably noticed, we have two security guards at the law
school today, one at each entrance. The guards will be at the law
school from 7:30 a.m. until 5 p.m. The guards are not present to
respond to any specific threat. We have hired them because some
students have expressed unease about attending classes in the present
circumstances. We hope the presence of the security guards will ease
these concerns."

If you're wondering if this email could have been any more cryptic, you're in good company. "Present circumstances?" It conjures the color-coded terror alert system in terms of uselessness and stoking of irrational fears. The school gossip mill says there have been specific threats of violence made against students by another student, but that's what happens when the mental patients are running the institution; no one really knows what is going on. When I was a 1L and the severity of the "kick out policy" consumed my consciousness, I didn't find it beyond the realm of possibility that some poor student whose life had been ruined by the arbitrary application of the grading curve would one day show up to the school to wreak a little retributive havoc. And evidently it really is not beyond the realm of possibility. But good news! The administration is cognizant of our plight and taking action. I don't know about you, but just knowing that there are two unarmed guards monitoring ingress and egress from this facility makes me feel secure. Of course, I happen to have class today until 5:30pm. And what about tomorrow? Here's a thought; why not just arrest the offending student for harassment, and make some systemic reforms to make it less likely that future students will resort to violence and mayhem? Or better yet, save the money you're spending on security and start providing all law students with free Diazepam. Valium for everyone!