Keep your expectations low and you'll never be disappointed

People who know me know better than to ask me my opinion on politics. They usually have neither the time nor the attention span to sit through the answer. But right now, like any good blogger, I'm feeling the inclination to put my unsolicited opinion out there. As the interminable primary season culminated in back to back party conventions, it seems like one of the loudest and most ridiculous complaints rising above the din has taken the form of an attack on elitism. I simply cannot understand this. When did the title of an elitist become an epithet of derision? During the Olympics, the world was riveted as elite athletes shattered world records, and achieved feats of apparent super-human greatness. Merely witnessing these events inspired people to try a little harder and do a little better in their own personal pursuits. When you think about elite universities, what comes to mind? The best of the best. Great minds coming together to put forth innovative ideas, elevate those around them, and attack common ills that beset society. Do we not all strive to achieve some variation on elite? When we do not, the sad spectacle is nothing more than wasted potential. And yet when a politician emerges with brains, class, and an admonition to the people to expect a little more from themselves, the response is backlash. Such a person can't possibly relate to the concerns of the average voter. Such a person is aloof and untouchable. Such a person isn't average like me. Wake up people. Do we really want to elect public servants who are "average"? I get the fact that people want their leaders to understand the concerns that plague the populace. However, if we want a person to face those problems head on, we need someone with the audacity to present new ideas to counter the old ideas that have failed us. Solutions don't come from people who are average; people who never dare to separate themselves from the pack. Solutions come from people who realize that average isn't an aspiration; it's a concession. I don't care what your politics are. Red, blue, conservative, liberal; it doesn't matter. Governments evade accountability to the electorate when people are too busy being average to pay attention. We may not be quite a "nation of whiners," but I do think we've become a nation of underachievers. And that's not okay. The problems our nation faces are real. We cannot expect to compete in a global economy if average is our high watermark. We need to be developing alternative energy sources. We need to address climate change. We need to take responsibility for the sad state of our economic infrastructure. We need to restore our political credibility with leaders in the international community. We need to discard the politics of fear. We need to rise to the challenges that face us. Average isn't going to cut it. We all need to strive to be elite and we all should expect nothing less from our leaders.

I'll be quirky...

On this the first day of school, I have oh so many things I should be doing, none of which includes playing a game of blog tag. But guess what? I don't care. Thanks Andrea for giving me a reason to procrastinate a reading assignment in Trusts and Estates.

The Rules:
• Link the person(s) who tagged you.
• Mention the rules on your blog.
• Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
• Tag 6 fellow bloggers by linking them.

1. I practically have a conniption fit every time dirty dishes are left in the sink. I mean, seriously. The dishwasher is RIGHT THERE!!!! Just rinse the dish and move it along to its rightful location in the dishwasher. Many a roommate incurred my wrath by ignoring this basic precept of communal living, but luckily my husband has caught on pretty quickly that this is a cardinal sin akin to leaving underwear on the floor.

2. I cannot sleep if my closet doors are left open. I don't know why this is, but it's a problem I have had since early childhood. I think it might be a residual effect of the archetypal fear of the monsters that reside in there. And everyone knows monsters can't get out of the closet if the doors are shut.

3. I put Tabasco on everything, and even though I'm fairly certain it is eating away at the lining of my stomach, it is my heroin and I must have it. This isn't really an unknown quirk though. Anyone who has ever eaten a meal with me knows that I have to have my Tabasco. I especially love it on popcorn. Don't knock it until you try it.

4. When I am in court, class, or any other type of meeting, I will catch myself mentally translating the proceedings into Spanish. I have no idea why I do this.

5. I twist my hair when I get tired or bored, and I have a very specific lock of hair that I favor. I have twisted this particular lock so much that my corresponding "twisting finger" has a noticable indentation in the area where I pull the hair around it.

6. I rock the game Trivial Pursuit because I am a wealth of useless information.


And to pass along this viral blog, I'm tagging everyone who is reading this blog at this very second, which may or may not add up to six. You know who you are. Go.

Fearful symmetry

It's 9:00am on the very last Saturday of the summer. The lovely Oregon summer is still radiating with warmth and sunshine. It's one of those days where being outside on a blanket with a book is pretty much a moral imperative. And yet here I am...sitting at a table in the library, fighting a panic attack. I came here so I could check out one of my textbooks from the library reserve. First day assignments finally posted, and of course the one textbook I need, the one I ordered a month ago, still hasn't arrived. The bleary-eyed librarian regarded me with curiosity as I asked to check out the book. I stood at the counter for 10 minutes, waiting for his computer to boot up so he could entrust the text to me. Must I really do this again? You will remember that last year I had an epiphany of sorts, when I realized that I probably wouldn't seriously entertain the notion of dropping out again, given the fact that graduation was so close. Now it's a mere 8 academic months away. The longest 8 months of my life. There is another student here in the library with me. He is clearly a 1L. I can tell from his shiny new laptop (mine, dropped more than once, is held together with electrical tape and faith), his slick folder with the Willamette logo emblazoned on the front (really? people carry those around?), and his hopeful expression. Yes, another soon to be former idealist, coming to change the world. And then there's me. I'm still debating over whether or not to take off my sunglasses. I can already feel the ache in my bones, the ache of sitting too long in one position while trying to absorb impossible legal concepts. The ache in my eyes from straining in a dimly lit room amidst shelves of dusty tax codes. The ache in my soul from toiling so long and so hard at something that gives me no joy. At the beginning of the month, I proclaimed to my spouse that I was going to tackle this year with a positive attitude. After all, it's my last year of school, ever! What could be more exciting than that? I was going to savor the last few months of the ivory tower, and I was going to personify optimism. After I get this blog out of my system, I think I'd like to revive that goal. Outside there is a banner welcoming the Class of 2011. On the wall are the smiling faces of the Class of 2008. And in the middle is me...facing down a semester of Federal Income Tax, Secured Transactions, Real Estate Transactions, Deposition Skills, and Trusts and Estates. What about that line up shouldn't induce a panic attack? I think I'll do some reading to numb the thought away. Let's get this party started. The sooner it starts, the sooner I can leave.

All dressed up and nowhere to go

According to a recent article in the New York Times, between 80 and 92 percent of all cases settle. At our office, that statistic certainly holds true, but why do they always wait until the very morning of trial to roll over and die??? Don't they know they're killing my opportunities to be a lawyer?? My annoyance knows no bounds.

Do one thing every day that scares you

I'm a good 3 months removed from my very first court appearance. Every Monday I put on a suit, go into court, and represent the State of Oregon. It's a pretty sweet deal. It has solidified my stance that even though I loathe law school, I'm pretty sure I will love practicing law. Even when things go wrong and I'm shooting from the hip, and almost positive I look like an incompetent student, I'm almost never scared of being in the courtroom. That might not be the case tomorrow. I was recently approached by an attorney in our section who had decided I'd paid my dues as a clerk and that I should start becoming a lawyer. Sounds good to me. She informed me that I had earned the right to be her second chair at trial. Tomorrow I'll start out with my very own witness to question, and gradually work up to more and more, stacking up loads of all that great experience that looks so impressive on a resume. I'm excited, but this also scares me. Right now there are a million things going through my head, ranging from the reasonable (I've forgotten everything I ever learned in Evidence...what are all the exceptions to hearsay?!?) to the irrational (What if I screw up so bad the judge bans all clerks from sitting second chair from here on out? You laugh, but it's happened) to the downright ridiculous (Flats or heels? And if I wear heels, what if I stumble on the way back to my seat after offering up an exhibit?). In my experience handling prima facies, I've been hard pressed to screw up really bad because the process is so utterly non-threatening, plus there are no other attorneys from our office to see if I'm not getting things absolutely right. Tomorrow it's going to be another story entirely. I'm not sure if I'm more scared of looking like a moron in front of the judge and opposing counsel, or looking like a novice in front of the attorney who is taking a chance on me. Okay, it's definitely the latter. Here's to not screwing up.

Dreading the inevitable...for the last time.

If the best things in life are free, why bother working?

I ponder this question on a regular basis as I drag myself out of bed every morning and go do what I do to get a paycheck. I think the answer is that the worst things in life are painfully pricey. I recently celebrated the one year mark at my current position, which came with the requisite pay raise I'd been so desperately needing. Of course, given the fact that my money is only going two places, there is no joy in seeing those bigger numbers every two weeks. I continue to chip away at the student debt I married into. It's depressing, but nothing compared to what I'm getting us into, so I have zero room to complain. But my other major expense is my bar review course. I hope to have that little beast paid in full by the time I graduate because I really don't want to take out $3,000 more in student loans to pay for it. A bar review course, you ask? But aren't you spending $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 on law school? In theory, aren't you already being taught all you need to know about practicing law so you can pass the bar? The answer to that is a resounding NO, duh. I'm still working on figuring out exactly what it is they're teaching me for all the zillions of dollars I'm paying, but evidently, it's not enough to help me actually become licensed to practice. And only a moron attempts to take the bar without having previously taken some form of bar review course. A friend posted a link to two incredibly humorous/demoralizing articles in the Times, regarding this very insanity. I have to include the excerpts here.


"Why is it necessary to take an intensive (and expensive) review course immediately after completing three years of full-time legal education?
The answer is that the legal education provided by American law schools often leaves graduates with huge debts and little practical knowledge necessary to pass the various state bar exams. This both necessitates the bar review courses and makes them such a crucial aspect of the final phase of becoming a practicing attorney.
Here are a few excerpts from this summer's [bar review] lectures:
On the test's purpose: "What they are testing you on is your ability to memorize."
On choosing from among multiple-choice answers: "If you find yourself engaged in creative reasoning, stop. Remember where you are."
On corporate law: "Why we do this is not relevant for the bar exam. Whether we can do this is."
On the inclination of students to apply today's legal scholarship to traditional doctrines: "The people who write the bar exam are not into feminist jurisprudence."
On questions about a court's authority to hear a case: "The worst way of dealing with one of these questions is to attempt it mentally."
On freedom of religion: "The key to getting these questions right is to avoid thinking for yourself."
On property law: "You must avoid any analysis whatsoever. If you can think, don't." "

If I had to formulate this into a Mastercard ad, I think it would go something like this...
3 years of law school: $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
The going rate for your dignity in a Contracts lecture: $20
Bar review course so you can actually become a lawyer: $3,000
Entering a field where the spoils go to those who are expressly advised to avoid thinking for themselves: Priceless.