Summer loafing...

With all the free time that accompanies a hiatus from school, you would think that I would have loads of time to maintain my blog. I'm pretty sure the only excuse I have for the lack of updates is that I am a slacker. I can live with that. Wow, so it's been a little over a month since I put my sweatpants back in my closet, and I have to say summer is treating me quite nicely. I took a few days off between the end of finals and going back to work full time, which was perfect for staying in my pajamas and...reading. I know what you're thinking. I do. "But Becca, you just spent the last semester reading everyday until your eyeballs bled, so what's so why not find something else to do with that precious free time you had?" I appreciate your concern for my wellbeing, but reading fiction and reading cases is akin to drawing a comparison between a leisure walk and a death march. It's a stretch. So thanks, Lyndsey, for the loaner. In keeping with the abysmal state of the economy, Scott and I decided to get our literary fixes the cheap and easy way by finally getting library cards. I'm nerdily psyched about it and must say, my first library check-out, "The Assault on Reason" was thought-provoking.
And then it was back to work. I have to say, the first few days of babysitting new clerks was more fun than it should have been...mostly because I got to sound like I knew what I was talking about. It continues to be fun because I now get to hand off the more distasteful assignments to them, while I focus on preparing for and making court appearances. Which is awesome. Now that I'm actually able to get out of the office and into a courtroom, I'm beginning to think I might really want to be a lawyer. Amazing how that works. Add to my newfound sense of purpose at work a generous pay raise and life is good.
But you know how life can be better? By throwing in a vacation. Yay vacation! Scott and I took a weeklong roadtrip down to San Diego and back, and it was loads of fun. We visited old friends, relatives, warm beaches, and roller coaster nirvana: Magic Mountain. Have I ever mentioned how much I love roller coasters? It's a whole lot. We were sure to hit every single coaster in the park, and it was fantastic. Definitely the highlight of the trip. Other highlights included getting wonderfully lost on the way to the beach at Santa Monica, having a film crew set up shop right next to us on said beach, visiting the Newport Beach temple, nearly dying on multiple occasions at the hands of insane drivers, and the monsoon we encountered at the San Diego Wild Animal Park. I thought we left Oregon to escape the rain. Seriously though. But it was such a wonderful week! Road trips are always fun adventures.
Upon returning to good old Salem, I was delighted to find that grades had been released, yes an entire month to the day of my last exam, and the consensus is that perhaps I don't suck as much as the actual exams would have me believe. Highest law school GPA yet. That's always a good feeling. Just two more semesters to go. I've developed a daily habit of browsing potential job opportunities and daydreaming of the not too distant future when my sense of self worth is no longer tethered to a grade point average, which is probably more as a testament to my severe and early onset senioritis than desire to join the real workforce, but I find it to be a powerful motivator for those times when I start to recoil at the thought of going back to school. And that's the long and short of it.
Yes, all is well and right with the world when summer vacation is in full swing. I'll try to update more regularly, but no promises. After all, I'm on vacation!

Sweatpants...

"Again with the sweatpants?"
"What? I'm comfortable."
"You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.'"

I used to really love watching "Seinfeld." This was back before we decided to dump our cable TV, but that's another story. In the pilot episode, Jerry and George have the aforementioned exchange, and it popped into my head as I sit here in the library, preparing for exam three of four. It's fascinating to witness the effect finals have on the student population. Usually we all come to school looking, if not dressed to impress, at least neatly groomed. During finals, people start wearing sweatpants...and stop sleeping and showering. Those things take too much time away from studying. It's true though. If you're miserable, you might as well be comfortable. Or as much so as you can muster during this dark, dark hour of mental torture.

Pop the cork...

And start the celebration! No, seriously. Some 3L brought a bottle of champagne to my Admin law class today and when the professor finished his lecture, the kid popped the cork and started getting drunk right there in class. Now, I'm no expert on alcoholism, but isn't 10:00 in the morning a little early to start getting wasted? I know I'll probably be thrilled to hear the last law lecture of my academic career too, but someone should probably let that guy know that there are still two weeks of finals left. And even then, graduating from law school means exactly nothing until you pass the bar. This reality check is brought to you by an overworked 2L, who only wishes she were in that guy's shoes.

Where hope goes to die

Finals sap my will to live. But I have found it helpful to reflect on times past when I still had a life worth living. Or at least blogging about, in something vaguely resembling a positive manner. For your enjoyment (sorry, only viewable to those with a myspace account), the oldies but goodies from my early blogging days. The older the post, the more spirit I still had left in me. The transition from happiness to hell is quite fascinating to witness. http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog&friendID=52579780
As if people really needed proof that law school is a soul crushing abyss...

It may or may not be the headlamp of an oncoming train...

Another semester is winding down. I wrote up my April calendar last week and it was almost jarring to see written down dates and times for my final exams. I haven't quite gotten into full blown panic mode yet, which is odd because next week is the last week of class before exams. I find that the anxiety-fest starts later and later each semester. I'm sure that's a good thing for my mental wellbeing. Not so sure it's a good thing for my level of preparation. Although if my steadily increasing GPA is any indication, I could use a lot less stress in my life. I think another reason why I'm not convulsing in a corner yet is because of the four exams I have to take, two are open book/open note, three of my classes are not going to be graded on the curve, and I found out today that another one of my exams is going to be flexed, so I can space them out more than I've been able to in the past. That is definitely a good feeling. And the most convincing reason as to why I feel okay about blogging right now, rather than committing to memory when ex parte communications are and are not alright in administrative law. This semester has been so crazy busy. I competed in two moot court competitions, passed the professional responsibility portion of the bar exam, judged rounds in the first year appellate competition, and wrote my third year paper. I get a little overwhelmed just thinking about it all, and yet I find that my incidence of seriously entertaining the notion of dropping out are becoming more infrequent. Don't get me wrong, I will probably consider dropping out until the moment they hand me my diploma. And I'm pretty sure that if I could go back and do it all over again, I really wouldn't have undertaken this particular adventure. However, being where I am now, with just one year to go, I'm really glad I've done something that was this hard; something that not everyone can do. Odd, I know. But in less than a month, I'll be a court-certified 3L, handling real cases at work rather than just trial prep for the attorneys, and I'll have a much deserved respite from this academic insanity. Just don't get me started on next year. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to get 15 credit hours with the classes they're offering in the fall, and keep my job and extracurriculars. For some reason, I've already taken most of the bar courses I need, which means I'm either going to have to take a ton of worthless 2 credit classes, or look into credit options at the business school or the liberal arts school. I'm considering taking another advanced spanish class, just to brush up, but a business class could be useful as well. Like I said, don't get me started. Because I really have no idea. I just know that it feels really good to have gotten to this point.

Sidelined

I love to run. For roughly the last 8 years it has been not only a mainstay of my fitness routine, but also a perfect and sane way to burn off the excess stress that always seems to pile up in my life. I can usually track the intensity of my life by my compulsive need to throw on my running shoes and hit the pavement. The month before finals is a good time to start clocking miles. Two weeks ago I bought a treadmill, which is quite possibly the most exciting purchase ever for a runner who lives in a rainy climate. I've been wanting a treadmill for some time, and finally I was able to afford one. And it's glorious. However, fate seems determined to not only rain on my parade, but also to crush all the floats, as I have managed to do some very unfortunate damage to my left knee. Over the course of my life I have been a dancer, a missionary, and a runner; all endeavors that caused my knees to do some hard core popping, but never anything serious. As a missionary my mantra was that if I could get out of bed, I could tract, and only when I was unable to walk would I call for a sick day. It didn't ever come to that, and when I came home, my knees toughened right back up. About two months ago I spent three consecutive days wearing the most uncomfortable pair of high heels imaginable because they just looked so good with my trial competition suit. Over the course of those three days, I started noticing a persistent, dull ache in my knees, which unfortunately did not go away when I changed back into my standard jeans and tennis shoes. A week later the pain was still cramping my style, so I decided to lay off the gym for a while to get over it. When I got my treadmill, I was sure that I would be ready to run again because nearly two months had passed since the offending incident, so I went for it. The first day my knee hurt like crazy, so I took a day in between to rest up. The second time was slightly better. The pain was noticeable, but not unbearable, so I figured I could run through it. That was pretty much the story all last week. Fast forward to yesterday. My knee started to bother me almost immediately, but I didn't pay attention. I was two miles into my run when I felt my knee twist suddenly and that dull persistent ache turned into something vaguely resembling a sledgehammer attack. My knee completely locked up and I think I'm left with no other option but to limp off to the sidelines for a while. This is utterly ridiculous, but I'm fairly certain my body is starting to fall apart. I wonder if there is strict products liability for manufacturing defects in the human body, because at this point I really wish I could sue someone to put me back in my rightful, runworthy position.

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes and quarterlife realizations

The sky is a bizarre color right now. I'm not sure what to make of it. It's neither slate nor ashen...not even black. I think the right word is blue, but that just doesn't seem right. In February in Oregon, the sky should always be some variation on rainy. There's a tree outside the law school building that I noticed today on my way home. It stood out to me because it's rapidly turning pink. Could it be that winter is actually loosening its death grip on the land? It's a possibility. Time marches on. I came home today and actually had some extra time, which I fully intended to devote to studying for the MPRE. Instead I found myself reading a book of letters my dad had compiled for me of our correspondence while I was in Spain. It was a good opportunity for me to reflect on life. It's so full of ups and downs and quite often it just passes by while we're busy doing whatever it is we do. I've already mentioned before that my life has been somewhat of an exercise in survival mode recently. The fact is that I've been that way for about two years now. I'm so focused on surviving law school that everything else has taken a backseat. My theory is that I can get on with life once I cross this minor endeavor off of my "to do list." I know there is much to look forward to, not just after I graduate, but even now as I press on in my schooling. But sometimes I wish I could hit rewind and take life in reverse for a while. I miss being a missionary and having the clarity and perspective that comes with knowing exactly what your purpose is. I miss being an intern, with the self imposed sense of accomplishment that came with working in an important sounding job in the nation's capital. I miss summers at home with new friends and old, having random adventures at pointless jobs. I miss being a crazy, irresponsible, and sleep deprived college freshman, having all the fun random adventures that one can only have while living away from home for the first time. I'm absolutely positive this post has no point whatsoever. I think it's just that I've had a lot of wonderful experiences in my life and I've done pretty much everything I've set out to do, with law school being one of the last major stragglers on that to do list. It is by far the most grown up endeavor I've undertaken and by far the least fun. I think my point is I've really had a blast getting to where I am, but if law school is the tip of the adulthood ice burg, I don't think I really want to grow up.